Hosting a gay sex party
![hosting a gay sex party hosting a gay sex party](https://h2i5q8u4.stackpathcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/LNC-PODCAST-S5P8-ARTWORK.jpg)
There is a quick questionnaire and then a 15-minute video interview with me. They were all just copycats of classic dating apps like Match or Tinder.’ But what was frustrating was that the channels to meet likeminded people weren’t there. ‘My husband Samy and I started questioning the traditional relationship narrative very, very early on – only a few days after we started dating! We were living in Paris and experimented a lot. This is why I describe Risqué as a place for people questioning everything in love, sex and relationships.’ Like many binaries, I don’t find the monogamy/non-monogamy binary relevant. Polyamory is a subcategory of non-monogamy, which is the umbrella term for relationships that don’t strictly respect the standards of monogamy. For the uninitiated, is that the same as polyamory? The site describes it as a place for ‘non-monogamous people’. It is members only, which means that guests are all members of LVRSNFRNDS, our community, or members’ club, if you prefer.’ It’s often on a Friday night from 8pm to 1.30am and usually has 69 guests. ‘Risqué is a monthly event for people to make new friends and lovers. What’s the simplest way to explain Risqué? If you can get on a bus, and not shock the majority of people, you probablyĬrossbreed is at The Cause in Tottenham on Fri Sep 27. It becomes a uniform, and everyone is in it together. ‘We want people to step out of the realms of social conformity, to be brave and feel safe doing so.
![hosting a gay sex party hosting a gay sex party](https://www.advocate.com/sites/default/files/styles/vertical_gallery_desktop_1x/public/2017/10/18/33_shutterstock_134462063.jpg)
Read the body language and don’t be a dick.’ “Maybe later” or “I’m not sure” also means no. ‘Something as simple as trying to chat someone up on the dancefloor. Staff will remove anyone not acting appropriately.’ Be aware, though, that we vet people at the door, and that continues throughout the venue. How can people attend? Is it open to all? I’ve never met so many open, accepting and welcoming people in my life.’ London has one of the biggest fetish scenes in the world, yet you hear hardly anything about it. ‘British prudishness, maybe? I think we’re quite closeted around the idea of fetish and kink, especially around discussing it publicly. Why do you think the London fetish scene is so inaccessible? In Berlin, the two just go hand in hand.’ ‘It was the lack of a bridge between the London fetish scene (which is actually quite inaccessible to people) and the London clubbing scene. They’re there to make sure everyone is playing safely and consensually.’ Around 30 friends of Crossbreed, all experienced members of the London scene, will be wearing armbands and are super-approachable. Play can be anything from a cheeky snog to spanking, or having sex. It’s a room separate from the main club, with fetish furniture, that is safe for you to play in and explore. Also, darkrooms haven’t always historically been the safest of spaces. The word “dungeon” doesn’t sound that appealing and plays off some old-school fetish stereotypes where everything is a bit medieval. ‘On the scene, people would refer to it as a “dungeon” or a “darkroom”, but I’m trying to move past some of these words.
![hosting a gay sex party hosting a gay sex party](https://media.them.us/photos/5b27b50d18fbcd00105cc96d/master/pass/Group_Sex-02.jpg)
One is a wellness sanctuary – an escape from the noise to decompress and have a cup of tea should you need it. One is a dancefloor – I’ll be DJing with Mr Ties all night. ‘Crossbreed is a collaborative, a kink-positive record label and a rave.’ It will always be thus, sadly, but some people are working hard right now to encourage others to try something new.īlame Londoners hanging out in Berlin, bloody ‘Fifty Shades’, or just old-fashioned, lip-biting curiosity, but there’s been a palpable explosion lately in interest in kink, fetish, non-monogamy and parties that are proudly inclusive of all genders and profoundly sex-positive.ĭecoding it all without a sexual sherpa is sometimes daunting, so we spoke to the people behind three of London’s newer and cooler parties and meet-ups to learn the ins and outs… Alex aka Kiwi, who runs Crossbreed In any city, discovering likeminded people who enjoy expressing their sexuality differently is, to put it mildly, a challenge.